Before the Dawn
by TheWritingGirl23
Summary: When the Institute has ceased to become home for one Rogue, she must make a decision of daring, which could change her life, in the dark before the dawn.


**Kind of on a brain block right now for my other stories so I just wrote a little songfic one-shot, in which the song kinda starts in the middle. It's relatively short with only a few lyrics, but I LOVE this song by Amy Lee, but it's unreleased so I can only hear it on YouTube. ARRGGHH! Anyway, I just find it so hauntingly beautiful and adding a surreal edge to the romance she's singing about, you don't know if it's real or not. Anyway, got hit by the hammer of inspiration and decided to get typing. Hope you enjoy!**

_**Before the Dawn**_

Rogue didn't run. She never ran, at least not when others might be watching. She maintained her stoic walk from the foyer, up the stairs, and to her room. She was infinitely glad that it was her own and she no longer shared with Kitty. Then Kitty wouldn't see her as she collapsed on the bed and the tears flowed freely.

Now that they had begun, she couldn't stop them. They stained her alabaster cheeks and turned her emerald eyes puffy and red. The Rogue had tried as hard as she possibly could over the past several weeks to restrain the rebellious drops of moisture, but now it was too much even for her. She wiped them away furiously with gloved fingers. As she did she glared at the covered appendages like they were shameful abominations. Which in fact they were, at least to her mind.

The tears continued to flow as the solitary girl contemplated with misery everything that had happened to her. Rogue was trying so hard to control her mutation, but no matter what she did she couldn't beat her own personal hell. The gloves remained and she was still untouchable. She still absorbed people on contact, and the psyches that had been ripped away by Apocalypse months ago had once again taken residence in her crowded mind.

Yet that was only the beginning. After the terrible day where the fate of the world lay in the hands of mutant teenagers, things had changed. Rogue knew that the others would never admit it, but they were frightened of her. It had been put aside for the sake of protecting the world from the ancient mutant, but now she could see it in their eyes. Wariness. Doubt. Anxiety. Fear. Only Logan seemed unchanged, but he was never around anymore when she needed him.

"_It's not mah fault. Ah couldn't fight their mind control anymore than Jean or Kurt could. It isn't mah fault that these powers are a curse."_

It wasn't just that either. Through the absorbed thoughts of her friends she had witnessed her loss of control. She had been appalled by the destruction she had caused, the lack of emotion as she attacked her friends. Rogue likened her possessed self to some terrifying angel of darkness and revenge. She could understand why her friends feared her, but it hurt. They were supposed to be there for her, and now they were shying away even when they said they'd be by her side.

Then there was the worst of all. She had been played. After years of faint hope, Scott Summers had finally seemed to notice her. He and Jean had broken up, and she had been there for him. He was her first friend at the institute and she truly cared for him aside from secret romantic affection. They had grown closer over time, and he had taken her out once or twice. Rogue couldn't believe that her luck might have at last changed for the better. That was why it was devastating when she realized it hadn't. She had gone downstairs looking for Scott, grasping the DVD case to Nightmare on Elm Street in hope of a scary movie night. She remembered with mortification the butterflies in her stomach and the grin on her face as she peered into the near empty rec room. She had only barely been able to keep back the squeak of pain as she saw the lone occupants. Scott and Jean, wrapped in each other's arms, lips met in what could only be a kiss of true lovers.

Rogue hadn't run, or said anything. She had wanted to scream at Scott, accuse him of leading her on, but then she realized that he could never love anyone but Jean. The way they looked at each other and held each other, that was something she could never have from the steadfast leader. Especially not her, the moody and dark girl who couldn't touch. She was nothing compared to perfect Jean Grey who was smart and beautiful. Not only that, for Jean was also kind and caring. Rogue knew it and though she was jealous of her, she knew Jean was a good person. The redhead had always been kind and sympathetic toward her like an older sister might be, and even though she knew she and Jean would never be good friends for their differences the Goth knew she cared. Rogue knew that the two deserved each other. That made it hurt all the more.

Thunder cracked outside of her bedroom window, indicating rain on the way. Rogue lay there, her eyes having dried. She was silent as she thought over everything. She realized, though it seemed like she had known for ages, that she was no longer happy. Despite the friends and the beautiful home, there was a gaping hole left that she didn't know how to fill. Silently, the tears began to fall again as she rolled over into sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-

_**Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you.**_

_**I am nothing more than to see you there.**_

Rogue jolted awake. Rain rolled down the window, but that was not what had woken her. She withdrew her now bare hand from beneath the pillow to see a drop of blood on the white finger tip. With a breath of recognition, she reached beneath the pillow once again and withdrew from it a black rose. Attached to it was a playing card, a queen of hearts.

It all came back. She wasn't alone in her world.

_**And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away.**_

_**We'll be lost before the dawn.**_

A month ago. Emerging from that coffee shop and bookstore where she loved to go and collect her thoughts. It was growing dark and cold as she walked down the street. It was at the street light on the corner of Wright and Twelfth that she had seen a face she had never presumed to meet again. Mesmerizing red eyes had held her own as a rich deep voice had greeted her. "_Bonjour chere._ How's de Lucky Lady?"

She didn't know how it happened. He had walked her home, telling her of where he had been all this time. That chance meeting had then turned to two, then three, then five. Rogue didn't know what drew her back to the cocky Cajun charmer, but being around him dispelled the loneliness like nothing else could. He joked, he laughed, he annoyed, he flirted, and most importantly, he held no fear of her. He wouldn't inch away when she came close, and he spoke to her and acted like she was any normal girl. It had taken time to realize that, in a way, he was just like her. Trusted by few, a loner, never truly at peace.

_**If only night could hold you where I can see you, my love.**_

_**Then let me never ever wake again.**_

Then, last night. Walking in the park beside him. She told him that she was lonely, that she felt something was missing. He had then proposed a glorious and frightful answer.

"Leave Rogue. If somet'in's missin' den you gotta go find it. I told you once dat de first step was always de hardest. You're clingin' to somethin' dat isn't dere anymore, you need to let go. Sometimes, you have to leave what's familiar and comfy behind to find where you truly belong. Remy had t'." He had taken her gloved hand in his and his eyes had burned with a light she had never seen before. "Remy can help y'. When I brought y' t' N'Awlins he wasn't lying to y', not completely. If you'd helped him save Jean Luc, then he woulda taken _cherie_ wherever she wanted t' go. Remy can still do dat."

Her eyes had widened with fear, yet her heart also leapt. "Remy Ah-Ah don' know. How can Ah just leave, Ah wouldn't know where ta go or what ta do."

His gaze was full of understanding and surprising affection. "It doesn't matter. Once you leave, y' just know."

_**And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away.**_

_**We'll be lost before the dawn.**_

Now, in the dark of her bedroom Rogue examined the message scrawled on the back of the card in firm script. _Sometimes an ending is the start of a better beginning. I'll wait for you._

Rogue stared at the card. To leave the one place that she had ever truly called home was a step into darkness. She would leave behind a brother and a best friend, a man who was like a father to her, a safe shelter. Yet, that shelter wasn't what made her happy now. Despite the uncertainty that lay ahead, she knew that indeed, this wasn't where she belonged anymore, at least not for now.

They would miss her certainly, and would undoubtedly search for her. Just because they feared her didn't mean they didn't care for her, but they wouldn't find her. Slowly, she rose from the bed and collected the bare necessities of what she would need. The only message she left before she clambered out the window to the ground was the black rose and a pair of gloves. They would understand.

The wind sang like a ghostly voice as she crossed the grounds, hidden by the pouring rain. Rogue clambered over the wall and dropped to the grass. She turned to the road, and just as she knew he would be, he was there. He waited silent beside his bike, his eyes glowing.

Rogue inhaled. Her stomach fluttered. She had come to know that Scott could never look at her the way he looked at Jean, and she thought no one ever would. Yet, the smile on the dark man's face and the gleam in his crimson eyes was one she had longed to see from another's face. Now that she saw it though, she forgot about that other man and longed only for the one before her. He had been there for her. His eyes were only for her. As she neared it felt so surreal, like she was floating in a dream. A dream from which she hoped never to wake.

_**Somehow I know that we can't wake again from this dream.**_

_**It's not real but it's ours.**_

The mutant Gambit approached her. "Rogue?"

She shook her head and stepped forward to meet him, with no regard for the rain and lightning. She took his covered hands in hers. "Not Rogue. Anna Marie. Rogue stays with the X-men."

His smile was radiant and she felt without a doubt that she had made the right choice. He placed a gentle kiss on her hair and she shivered. Without a word he handed her a helmet and led her to the bike. She settled in behind him as the engine roared quietly to life. With the speed and grace of a wild cat the machine sped forward, through the dark empty streets of town and away.

_**Maybe tonight we'll fly so far away.**_

_**We'll be lost before the dawn.**_

As the pair crested the hill, the girl turned back once more to look on the faint lights of the institute in the distance. She would miss them all, and they likewise. Anna Marie knew she might never return, but she would just see where her path led her.

"Anna? Where to?" She turned back at the question and looked on the man she cared for over any other.

"Anywhere. Ah'll know." She didn't need to elaborate as he accelerated the bike once more.

_**Maybe tonight we'll fly so far away.**_

_**We'll be lost before the dawn…**_

With one last glance and a whispered 'goodbye' Anna Marie turned her back on the institute, the X-men, and the Rogue. The lightning cracked as the bike disappeared in the darkness before the dawn.

**I hope I did well for my first one-shot. I adore this song and it stinks that you can't hear it while you read. It's just so mysterious and almost fantasy-like. Anyway I hope you enjoyed.**


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